


Don't Quit Your Day Job

by marblemarvel



Category: Marvel
Genre: Gambling, M/M, Pool, Secret Identities, Spideypool - Freeform, casino - Freeform, for now, illegal wildlife trade, mafia boss kinda, peter parker is the antihero, sorry if i'm inaccurate, wade is no longer a mercenary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 04:12:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15525789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marblemarvel/pseuds/marblemarvel
Summary: After quitting his old unaliving gig, Deadpool heads to Vegas with a pool stick and a mission to win the $100,000 prize in a billiards tournament. But why oh why is his rival so flirty?They make a bet, and let's just say Wade Wilson learns way more about the hidden life of Las Vegas celebrity, PB Parker.





	Don't Quit Your Day Job

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! This story actually has a plot written out so maybe it'll be better than the last thing I wrote (maybe).
> 
> Please let me know if I should change the rating/tags at any time. Just be warned that there is gambling and later on mentions illegal trade of wildlife. Nothing hardcore though, I promise.
> 
>  
> 
> PS: sorry for inaccuracies about pool or casinos or just anything really
> 
> I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Las Vegas. Getting caught in Vegas wouldn’t leave you much space to lie about what the heck you’re doing there. Everyone knows Vegas is for getting positively wild. People draw naturally like moths to the lights filling clubs, festivals, and most importantly, the casinos. Wade had heard many a time that going was a stupid decision. You’d say you weren’t going to spend a dime but at the end of the night you’re pawning your grandmother’s engagement ring for just one more chance at the slots machine. Wade went anyways, because shoot, “Stupid Decision” was his middle name. Anyways, it wasn’t like he was going to play the machines. Been there, done that. He was going to win money with an actual skill. That’s right.

Deadpool was killer at pool. I mean, it was half his name. That wasn’t exactly the reason, but hey, still fits.

And he reckoned that since pool was a skill based game, and since he’d actually won money betting on it, he’d be making some easy dough. Spidey had convinced Deadpool years ago that killing wasn’t the way; He could fight crime with a positive impact in a less fatal manner. The bad thing about his recent lack of unaliving was that unaliving paid the bills pretty well. The good thing was that before the whole cancer and Weapon X ordeal, Wade spent too much time in bars. Too much. And he loved to win.

Speaking of the devil, Spidey had been unheard from for a couple years. It had been so long that all the Avengers held a memorial for him, assuming he’d died out on a mission. Although the most of them had gotten over it, Tony still mourned on his own for the unadopted son he’d lost. 

Wade had certainly done the same. The guy had been his best friend and as mentioned before, had saved Wade from walking through the rest of his life racking up unnecessary kills. But Wade couldn’t sit around crying over Spidey. Spiderman wouldn’t want that. 

Wade hauled his duffel bag off the bus and grinned, waving back at the driver who had cheeks like a Newfoundland dog, dangling precariously off his face like they’d drip right off.

“Thanks for all the laughs, Bernie. I’m sorry to have to leave so suddenly, but maybe I’ll see you on a trip back.”

“Never step on this bus again.”

“Haha, still cracking jokes I see. Laters!” He waved once again and grabbed the strap of his duffel with a hand, tugging the brim of his cap a bit before moving on. The bus drove off, wheels kicking up dust as they squealed away. Wade headed down the street, jostled among people hurried to get to a crazy party or the club for a night. Seriously, did anyone actually live here? Hotels seemed to have a 1:1 ratio with casinos in Vegas. Wade huffed out some air. Nothing he couldn’t deal with, of course. He wouldn’t mind a nap today though. First, he had to get signed up for the tournament.  
Oh right, you didn’t know about that. Well, how do you think he’s gonna make the money? The prize money (which was 100 thousand buckaroonies, by the way) would keep him going for a good while. Wade could see absolutely no flaws in his plan, whatsoever.

He waltzed in, sighing happily at the lovely air conditioning of the casino. Because dang honey was Nevada hot, especially for a Canuck like Wade. This paradise was short lived when security began getting handsy with his duffel bag. Their eyes ogled at the stacks of money that Wade was toting, to which he zipped his bag up and walked forward. Thankfully, the guards didn’t hassle him any longer, and the ex-merc could finally stride up to the sign in table. 

“The name is Wade Wilson, my friend.” He lifted his cap just a little bit so that the lady could match his face with his I.D. His lips couldn’t choose between a grimace and grin. She smiled despite this and handed him a clipboard with quite the stack of pages on it. 

“Hey! Nice to meet you. Super cool name, by the way. Just fill out these pages and you’ll be all set for the tournament! Good luck. Great to see a new competitor.” Wade was taken aback by her unconditional kindness (I mean, she totally just saw his face and hadn’t even flinched? Spidey was the only one to do that before. Maybe she saw his I.D. earlier?) but he managed a smile back before plopping onto a nearby bench to do his paperwork. Not long after he began scribbling away, Wade noticed a shift in his peripherals. A mass shadow swept past him and Wade’s eyes drifted from his name on the page to the group standing in front of the sign-in booth. Wade could hear the woman who checked him in gasp suddenly.

“PB Parker. Wow, nice to meet you sir. I’ll take your forms.” She took a folder from the man and he nodded, giving her a gentle smile before glancing at Wade. 

Oh, sugar honey iced tea-

PB (is his name Peanut Butter? That could make for a good pickup line) shook his head as if trying to get out of a dream, eyes the size of dinner plates before he turned his head away, shuffling briskly past the table with his bodyguard and some other miscellaneous goons that seemed to be part of his posse. 

That was probably one of the most obnoxious reactions he’d ever gotten, but whatever. If he made it far enough in the tournament, he’d be on tv anyways, so no hiding then.

Wade pondered as he filled out his last page. That PB guy hadn’t been short, exactly, but he was definitely not as tall as Wade. He had a lean, muscular build that’d you’d usually find on a twink, but the leather jacket that this PB guy had adorned along with a confident posture made even Wade just a little intimidated.

He stretched himself out before striding back over to lady so obviously starstruck. Her nametag said… Jenny.

“Hey Jenny, here’s the paperwork. D’you mind telling me who exactly that was?”

 

She let out a soft hoot, glancing to Wade. “Man, you really are a newcomer to Vegas, huh? That’s PB Parker. Wins tons of tournaments every year. He’s huge in Vegas. I mean,” she fanned her face, “He totally just walked up and smiled at me. Did you see that Wade?” 

He chuckled softly and nodded a bit. “Okay, maybe I’ll go try to talk to him in the lounge, I guess. Try not to melt, okay?” Dang, maybe he had a friend here already.

She bobbed her head happily, giving his back a pat before he headed off to the contestants lounge. Unsurprisingly, there were already people flanking PB as they asked questions or took pictures. PB was seemingly unbothered as he relaxed back into his chair, giving eager fans autographs until people who weren’t actually in the competition were shooed out of the room.

Wade kept his head down, promising himself that at 3:30 (ten minutes from now) he’d get up to talk to PB, but at precisely 3:34 PB had come to him instead. He tapped Wade gently on the shoulder. 

“Hello? Sorry to bother you, I know how important ordering Mexican food is but I’d like to talk to you.” PB let a little smirk on his lips before Wade shoved his phone away, somehow… embarrassed? Taco Bell was Wade’s favorite app, why be ashamed of that?

Parker sat next to Wade on the bench and the ex-merc could just feel eyes grazing him from across the room. PB might not be as tall and brawny as Wade, but his bodyguards definitely surpassed him. He figured they were just trying to do their jobs but their gaze made him uncomfortable all the same.

“Haha, yeah, sorry. Been a while since I’ve had some good food.” Bernie happened to be quite stingy when it came to breaks at gas stations. “Do you want any?”

“I didn’t realize Taco Bell qualified as good food.” PB threw Wade a sly glance, and Wade snickered softly.

“Touché, big boy. The name’s Wade.” He threw out a hand and PB hesitated momentarily before shaking, finally treating Wade to a real smile.

“I’m PB. It’s nice to meet you, Wade. I’m sorry if I reacted badly earlier- I promise it wasn’t the scars.” Wade was used to that, but PB’s big doe eyes told him that he was really quite sincere.

“Oh, no problem man, happens all the time. Hey uh, PB,” He turned toward him more and kept himself from laughing before the joke was out, “maybe I can be your jelly.” 

It was obvious that PB was fighting back a snort. Dang, Wilson, two friends in one day? He settled himself though, and returned to his smug state from when they’d begun their conversation.

“Hmm, definitely never heard that one before,” he remarked sarcastically, “but we’ll just have to see how far you get. I only date guys who give me a challenge in pool.”

“Oh, you can bet on it, Big Boy. Get it? Casino?”

“Why don’t we bet on it, hmm? Let’s say you even get to the final round against me. If I win, I get your services for a week, non-sexual of course. If you win, you get the same from me.”

Wade pretended to ponder, even when he’d decided immediately anyways.

“Deal.”

♛

It was the first time in awhile that all Wade had to do was wait. Most people would probably cherish some free time in a busy life such as Wade’s, but when Wade himself wasn’t busy, his mind was. He whined softly and rolled over in his hotel bed.

That PB guy kinda really reminded him of Spidey. Sure, Wade hadn’t seen any of Spidey’s face or body, and he only knew his first name (Peter, Petey-Pie, etc), but his saucy attitude certainly matched.

Wade couldn’t bear to think of the fact that he’d never seen Peter’s face and he never would.

45 more minutes. 45, and he could head back to the casino and start the tournament. At this point, the press was probably getting set up for coverage. Wade didn’t totally understand that. Sure, pool was fun to play, but watching? Psh.

Maybe PB really was a bigger figure than he thought, if his presence drew paparazzi in like flowers brought in bees.

He shook his head. Irrelevant. Worry about the game. He grinned and cracked his knuckles.

40.

30.

20.

10\. 

5.

Time to go.

♛

Wade strolled into the casino right on time, waving happily at Jenny as he passed her before finding the table with his name on it along with his opponent’s. Since his opponent wasn’t there yet, he looked at the overall bracket.

It seemed that PB was on the opposite side of the bracket from Wade, which meant that if he wanted a chance to play him, he’d have to make it all the way to the top.

He smirked. No biggie. How was PB so sure that he himself would make it to the final round?

“Sorry, mate. I couldn’t get parking.” A seemingly frazzled man jogged in with his gear on his back, immediately going to offer Wade his hand. Wade shook his hand and smiled. 

“Don’t worry dude, I just got here.” The ref nodded at them and they began their game.

Henry ended up being pretty good, but Wade easily surpassed him and won the game without much worry. Henry waved, grabbing his gear.

“Good game, chum! And good luck, I’ll be cheering you on from my couch at home.” 

Wade waved back and furrowed his brows. He hadn’t had any particularly bad encounters in Vegas yet.

But maybe he shouldn’t speak so early.

“I get break, Pizza Face.” The new man smirked as he came up to the table. “Not that I wouldn’t win going second. I just want this over fast.”

“Oh, so like your dates with ole Lefty over there? Yeah, sure, be my guest.” Wade narrowed his eyes with a wicked full grin as his competitor grumbled and took his first shot.

Expectedly, this guy was better than the last, but his ego got in the way. After a successful shot that sunk not one but two of his balls, he got overexcited and bumped the table, causing the eight ball to roll into a nearby net. The referee (who had seen all of this dude’s cockiness and was maybe, just MAYBE on Wade’s side) ruled it as a win for Wade and he went onto the next round. 

If he beat this opponent, then he’d play in the final round. And right now was break time, cool. 

Except he had nothing to do. But maybe…

His eyes absentmindely followed PB as he walked away from his table. He stretched a bit, laughing and chatting with press as they followed him. Suddenly PB was waving Wade over and although his mind protested, his seemed to glide right over.

Oh no, cameras.

PB grinned and gently tugged Wade to sit next to him, so they were both in frame.

“This is Wade Wilson, and he’s going to be my partner in the final round of this tournament, I’m betting on it.” 

This guy seemed ready to bet on a lot of things.

Wade successfully maintained the stupidest look he possibly could’ve. “Um.. hi.”

“Absolutely riveting, folks.” PB brought back his little smirk before wrapping his arm over Wade’s shoulders, laughing. “Make sure to tune it at five pm for the final round of the tournament. Bye.” The cameraguy nodded to PB and PB pulled his arm off Wade, standing.

“Thanks for coming over. People are gonna be so excited to see someone new.”

“I probably just looked totally stupid.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugged, “I was kinda counting on that.”

Wade’s jaw dropped with the betrayal and PB just snickered again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket before pressing a quick kiss to Wade’s forehead. PB wasn’t sure if Wade’s jaw could get any lower than it was previously but surprisingly it did.

PB strutted away, smug look hidden from Wade.

Hook, line, and sinker.

**Author's Note:**

> 50 points if you guess what PB stands for.


End file.
